To keep moving forward, unfortunately, in certain circumstances, a lifelong ambition that you have put blood, sweat and tears into, has to end. At the end of last month, after fifteen years of owning and working in my own beauty salon, I have handed over my keys to another business. This has certainly been the end of an era for me and a huge step in moving forward. There has been a mixture of emotions, but I know that I am doing the right thing for myself and my son.
Already my head has space for new things, and I am looking forward to being able to focus on them. Although, I don’t intend for my career in the beauty industry to be completely over, as an experienced lash stylist, I will continue to ‘keep lashing’ some of my loyal customers and hope to have some more time to write about my beauty experiences, trends, and products.
It was a tough week at the beginning of the month, as it was the four-year anniversary of my husband’s death on the 2nd of May, and we would have been married for 17 years on the 5th. I managed to keep myself busy and distract myself at times, but I also allowed myself to stop and grieve. The mediation app I use called Breethe has some hypnotherapy sessions on it, specifically for grief which I find helpful.
At the moment, I have just submitted my final assignment which completes my studies in Level 1 towards a degree in Arts & Humanities. With much imposter syndrome of ‘why are you doing this? What is the point? You can’t do this!’ I am proud to have achieved this so far…
I have also been prescribed some HRT to hopefully relieve horrendous perimenopausal symptoms, which I have just started today, so will see how that goes. Such that, for the next few weeks, I will be focusing on my health and much needed rest, which might involve a bit of TV. Although I mainly intend to complete a couple of fictional books I had started weeks ago. Been too busy reading and comparing Great Expectations and Jane Eyre for my assignment, which I do love and enjoy, but looking forward to putting them back on my shelf for a while!
Has anyone here had a shift in their own life recently?
Congrats on your scholastic endeavors. I went back to school at age 50 and finally earned a college degree (it was #1 in my bucket list.) Menopause is an emotional rollercoaster under the best of circumstances.
Self care is so important when dealing with grief and loss. Take good care of yourself.
I cried only tonight. I just thought I miss my friend so much, it hurts so badly that they aren’t here anymore. I can only imagine the lasting impact it will have on their family too...I totally relate to the feelings bubbling up from nowhere.
Being a full spectrum Doula I know only too well that in our society birth and death are not spoken about until it’s upon us. I include myself in that. I have a fascination with grief now and although it’s the most shape-shifting emotion I’ve ever felt the more I run from it the harder it becomes. Most days, that breath in the morning you talk about is a total surrender isn’t it. One foot in front of the other and blind faith that it has to be ok...I have proof from yesterday that I survived.